[I read this at an event called “Make it Work” at Madam X]
My dad got struck by lightning. Twice. Once time on a tractor and one time standing under a tree. The first strike killed the cow next to him but he just got knocked out cause of the tractor’s big rubber tires. Also my Dad is everything-proof.
He just beat terminal cancer for the second time. It was in his bone marrow. His bones just deteriorate and have to get replaced with metal rods from time to time. He had a weekly stomach injection of chemo with a six inch needle in his belly for 45 minutes at a time. He said it was alright.
He’s had three broken ribs for over 50 years that re-break every few years and he just walks it off. The last time he was about 73 and slipped on some marble steps on Capital Hill and landed on his side. He said it took him about ten minutes to get up, but he did. He walked to his meeting and went to the doctor after that.
When they told him he had terminal cancer and would die in 6 months it was on his lunch break. He finished the work day.
I’m not like my father.
We have the same sense of humor though. We both lean silly. We both squash confrontation smoothly and have tons of friends. He’s redneck tough. I’m BDSM tough.
I did full time torture for 18 years as a submissive with sketch people in trailer parks. But when I got hurt I took a day off. All three times I had internal bleeding in my balls from sketchy CBT, I took a week off. I’m not crazy. I coated my hole in vaseline every time I tore it bottoming and had to keep working. I didn’t just white knuckle it. He’s a maniac. He remodeled our house when I was 12 with a broken rib. And he was rich, he coulda just paid contractors. I paid a couple dykes to paint my apartment last year cause I had the money. I’m just not like him.
When he found out I was a gay porn star he couldn’t talk to me for two years because he was disgusted. Someone sent him a link to my first scene. The top had a 12 inch cock, thick as a beer can, and I took the whole thing. It was the most “tough guy” thing I ever did in my life, next to transitioning to female. I’d never taken a real dick before. I was torn in the first stroke and finished 6 hours of shooting, stopping my bleeding with Neosporin between takes. I’m positive that 99.9% of real man tough guys woulda gave up, but I cowboyed up and finished my job. I wish he coulda scene me between takes. I was cracking dumb jokes, bleeding out my ass and plugging it. I kept an erection for every take. The it was like playing mental 3d chess while executing an olympic gymnastic routine. I wish he couldn’t seen how hard I can fucking go. I think he’d be proud.
Back when I was Batman in a trailer park fetish porn I almost drowned to death. I was chained to the floor on a slight incline with a ball gag in my mouth when Catwoman was supposed to squirt on my face. Whatever came out of her also got on her costume so she ran out of the room crying. The cameraman chased after her, leaving me alone with a nose full of whatever and a big ass red gag plugging my mouth. After a couple minutes I figured I was gonna die if I didn’t snort the chunky discharge and swallow it. I spent the next ten minutes barely breathing out of one almost open nostril until they came back to unchain me for my strap on scene. They only had cheap lube so my ass tore and bleed but I finished the scene like a real man.
When I transitioned I ripped my body and face apart and put it back together just to be myself. I took burning hot needles to my face and genitals thousands of times over to remove my man hair. He wouldn’t talk to me that year either because I disgusted him again. I did all that alone.
I’m not like my father, but I do carry his redneck blood that makes us both hard as fuck to kill. It just sucks he’ll never know that.
