His body was found in Columbia
which was such a Him thing to do.
The most selfish mother fucker I ever met
Someone had to drag his
225lb corpse all the way to Alabama
so his mom could bury him.
We spent two weeks in brothels
in Costa Rica
telling each other about each threesome
with women that looked like Salma Hayek.
3 times on that trip
he told me he fell in love
He had the best jokes.
I never had a friend that make me laugh more than him.
I was living in section 8
when he taught me how to start a business.
He started his when he was sharing a room
in Salvation Army
with his father.
His made him rich.
Mine made me money too
but I had to stop speaking to him
when he punched his pregnant girlfriend
and knocked her down the spiral stairs of his yacht.
She didn’t have money like him
so his lawyers got him full custody of their baby
painting her a drunk and unfit mom to the court.
That baby had crippled little fat legs
and lobster claw hands
from when the amnionic sack drained out of his mom’s womb
all over the deck of his dad’s yacht
after he knocked her around.
Alex paraded that baby everywhere
and even got in the local paper for being a handsome single dad.
Then he got hooked on oxy again
and stole everything from me.
Cleaned out $15,000 on a Tuesday morning.
His name was on my business banking account
because he started me out with $1000 in the beginning.
I heard he was dating a Bollywood star in India at one point.
We talked one time
before he died.
He drunk called me, crying
at 3am from his yacht.
He just wanted to tell me
he forgave me
for not loving him back.
I’ll always wonder what I missed,
where I could’ve been a better friend.
I don’t think anyone really drug his body home.
In the end it was a group text message
People asking if anyone had seen him.
Then someone dropped the link to his obituary.
I only knew one person in the group text.
The rest were strangers to me and each other.
